I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize