why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
