I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
