KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dick very happy bro
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
