there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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