Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
And then he peed in my hair
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