Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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