Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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