I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
