need another drink. this is the easiest way
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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