Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
