By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize