Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
