My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
