He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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