It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Enjoy the penises
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
