Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
