there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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