I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize