Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
