Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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