whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
