Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
