sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
