he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
