I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My vagina is very pro this idea
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