I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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