We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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