His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
