I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
