I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
