I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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