My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
