Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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