She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
