bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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