Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
