Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Vodka?
Forever.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
