I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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