I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
