I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
