You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
no, he came in my armpit
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize