I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He did a backflip because drugs
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