AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
