Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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