do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
