are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
