Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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