My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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