love makes seman taste better
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
