dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
