Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
