make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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