HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
