I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
