Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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