some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
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I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.