I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes