I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
