Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis